it’s a bit of a brain dump really, but I needed to make it clear why I’ve been missing for so long.
It’s been almost a year, but last May, my Mum passed away.
It came as such a shock to the system, even though as a family we knew for some time that it was likely, the fact that she’d been at death’s door a few times before, and then recovered fully, meant right up until the end, we didn’t give up hope.
Anyway, with Mum gone, I began to question why I was doing all of this. I began to question everything again and again. I think it’s part of the grieving process, that you need time to re-adjust, and find your new place in the world. Mum had been such a pivotal figure in my life, that it’s been a hard road to recovery.
I’ve not mentioned the ‘meta-story’ yet, but, in short, it’s this: if you can focus on a future and how you want it to be, write it down, and the more you focus upon it, and BELIEVE it, the more it becomes reality; then my meta-story had Mum written into it, and so suddenly a huge portion of the meta-story had gone.
The universe had clearly decided: “No, that’s not what you’re here for”. Well, not any more, anyway.
“So, change your meta-story”, I hear you say.
Indeed. But not without re-evaluation.
In 2016, I set a lot of wheels in motion. I wanted to get out of the 9 to 5 scenario, and stop trading all of my time for money. I wanted more time for my creative projects that were constantly being shelved, or starved, and I wanted more time, ultimately, for family.
I’m still a long way from that. But, the creative projects have definitely begun, whereas before they were just a dream.
And, to me, that’s a good start.